hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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