A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
