How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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