My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
