i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
jump out the window naked night went bad
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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