what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize