I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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