Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
