I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
