Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
