Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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