It's like God shit irony all over that family
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
