the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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