Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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