a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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