Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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