so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize