Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
