when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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