I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize