Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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