Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
