you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did i walk over a car last night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
