some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
