I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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