im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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