I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
