Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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