I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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