i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
