I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i dont even know how to be here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Randomize
