She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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