theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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