There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
