Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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