also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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