You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
