I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
