respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
