morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
