How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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