I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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