I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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