barbara walters just said penis...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
