Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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