all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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