Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
