There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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