I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
