I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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