How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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