You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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