can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
