Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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