I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
