his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
