Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize