the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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